KELLI BEAN WRITER
I have had a resume since 2nd grade, when teachers at Ronald Reagan Elementary nominated me to the Teddy Bear Writer’s Invitational. I’m a 3.9 GPA, Class President, Miss Idaho USA. (Before Trump owned it--our President has not seen me naked on his back-stage tours.) I was an Exchange Student to Japan for my Junior year of High School. This was mostly to avoid killing my father rather than from some innate curiosity for the world. BA from College of Idaho in Japanese History and Creative Writing. Magna Cum Laude. Emphasis on Writing/Concubine & Geisha. I studied at the Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama in Scotland as a Rotary Ambassadorial Scholar under Alan Rickman and the former director of Royal Shakespeare Theatre, and was awarded Most Outstanding Student. This offered me no leg up in Hollywood. I moved to Los Angeles to be fifty feet tall, a movie star, and instead I bottomed out, came to, started writing it all down. I have a Master’s Degree in Spiritual Psychology. I attended the Academy Awards show twice and learned: 1. Movie Stars are Short with Remarkably Large Heads. (exception: Nicole Kidman) 2. The flashing camera lights on the red carpets are rigged. It’s all a show. 3. I wouldn’t wish an Oscar on the husband of my worst enemy. I’m happily married to Academy Award winning Cinematographer Claudio Miranda. (See aforementioned number 3.) I’m a Girl Scout Troop Leader (I know, right?) and I homeschool our two daughters (“But how do you socialize them?” Bitch, please.) I love writing, but I was Born to Mother. I’ve sent numerous emails to Oprah during the most painful times of my life, seeking guidance. She never replies. MISS IMAHO is my first memoir. Currently working on INFIDELITY CITY, a memoir of a marriage in Hollywood, post Oscar.